Nostalgic life hacks
Back to Basics: Civics & Community
One of the biggest reasons parenthood is such a great time to form an appreciation for civics is that for the first time in our adult lives, we’re thinking unselfishly on a daily basis.
More and more people are having kids after getting to a certain point professionally, with a tremendous amount of life experience behind us compared to past generations. I legitimately lived multiple chapters, all from different books, between the time I graduated from college at 21 and became a mom at 37. Most of that time was focused directly on myself - my career, relationships, figuring out who I wanted to be, living daily by the words of George Bernard Shaw, “life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”
Becoming a parent doesn’t change being a work in progress (by my account, it amplifies it) but it does redirect some of that focus, making this the perfect chapter to rediscover classical civic life with its profound emphasis on the richness of human connection.
There’s a bit of nostalgia at play here. One of the biggest reasons no one can really define civics anymore is because day to day life has become increasingly isolated. I grew up going to church, being involved in whatever was the religious equivalent of Girl Scouts, having sleepovers, going to the McDonald’s play place on Sundays with family friends who lived an hour away. And then the “me” part of adulthood eclipsed all that. I don’t go to church (to the surprise of no one, I have deeply complicated feelings about organized religion) and even as someone who has thought a lot about civics over the past several years, I’m not involved in local government or a member of the community board, or even reasonably informed about my company’s social impact initiatives, though I’m curious. But my point is that parenthood organically presents more opportunities to lean in in different ways. It could be the PTA, the neighborhood block association, “friends of” a local park, even volunteering to host a weekly group class in your backyard for young kids (shoutout to the moms in my neighborhood who have done that — legitimate civic heroes). The most communal thing I do is host Shabbat dinner, and at least for me, gathering is the essence of civic community and however you do it is just fine.
Gus’s Pick of the Week
*More appropriately titled Gus’s Pick of the Summer*
A kids & family podcast agent recently told me about the Toniebox, which is very much like a sturdy, toddler-proof iPod. For the older kids, there are some solid educational “Tonies”, but for a 2 year old, this has got to be the most collab’d up device on the market. They have everything from a Lion King “Tonie” to Moana to Elmo to Blippi. I won’t rank the ones he has from annoying to less annoying, but really he loves it and honestly so do we. It cuts down on screen time, there’s enough variety to keep him engaged (and grow with him), and it feels like he’s learning valuable life skills, at least from Elmo.
The Civic Influencer Saving My Week
(known on Instagram as @emilyinyourphone) wrote the most poignant post on Monday that put such a fine touch on the idea of civic community. She also recently published Democracy in Retrograde, a must-read that I’m almost through (more on that later). Her writing is both intellectually and emotionally articulate. I don’t know how she does it, but she’s developed her own unique civic language that makes you want to keep reading, and that is no easy task. More Unproductive
Guys, it’s really not all about work or civics or parenting, at least not all the time. I’ve continued on a journey to find enjoyment in the absolutely unproductive and it was a true delight to binge 3 seasons of this Swedish family drama The Restaurant. The finale snuck up on me and I was gutted in the best way. Five stars for entertainment, relaxation, learning some Swedish words, all of it.
See you Friday for our next civics microdose.
More soon,
Sarah