Intuiting a civic ethos

A more philosophical microdose for the weekend

After 11 years with my therapist (ELEVEN!), yesterday’s session — taken from the couch in my office between calls, where my assistant and everyone else knows exactly what I’m doing but never makes eye contact with me, because they’re angels — I had a breakthrough.

Therapy is a journey. It’s the biggest investment of time and money I’ve ever consistently made in myself and my life would never look like what it does without it. I joke that my therapist is my longest stable relationship. And there have been many “breakthroughs” in the last 11 years (I’m an excellent student). But truly, truly, truly. Go through the hell of finding the one that works for you. It is beyond worthwhile.

It wouldn’t make sense to describe the breakthrough and without the context of my entire life story, you’d be bored. But it helped me hit on this idea of a “civic ethos” that I wanted to share with you.

I met another new friend through the Jason Alexander storytime, a young dad who brought his daughter, and before the “show” started, he tapped me on the shoulder and said “you know, I don’t think I actually know what ‘civics’ is.”

I was definitely nervous (about to introduce Jason Alexander, HELLOOO) and I think I said something about community and how we treat one another (or I hope I did).

When I set out to start this Substack almost a year ago, I wrote that I wanted to create a civics “toolbox” for parents. There is civic knowledge that you can memorize and be empowered by, and then there’s the ethos of it — the part that is more explainable as a feeling, or with words like the ones below. A new friend posted this really beautiful thing on Instagram today and I felt it so deeply.

I hope your weekend is filled with small kindnesses.

More soon,

Sarah